Though it’s been a couple weeks the Ashley Madison reverberations continue. My daily HARO check has been steadily producing at least a query a day of “Where you involved with or affected by Ashley Madison?” as reporters look to analyze the behavior or capitalize on the heartbreak.
We hate cheating–especially the faithful spouse being cheated on by the backstabbing spouse. Even cheaters hate cheaters, ever paranoid about being cheated on themselves. But how many of us are are cheating on ourselves?
With each presentation since my book came out, someone asks me to talk about ‘the part where the husband is sitting at the table in front of you and opens the door for his lover’.
You may be thinking “What? A fitness book with a story of betrayal? Lust? Relationships?”
Don’t get how a fitness book could have anything to do with a cheating spouse? Your fitness is a reflection of you/your life–they are not separate–and, well, the book isn’t really about fitness. So yes, there is a lot of back-stabbing shit going on when it comes your body; you may not realize you’re probably on your body’s Ashley Madison list!
Don’t believe me?
How many times have you promised yourself that you will start tomorrow or Monday?
Acknowledged that you need to exercise or eat better but put it off?
Had a medical report and thought ‘Man, I know I need to _____’ and not followed through?
Known that you were full, but kept eating? Been exhausted but kept going?
How many times have you said some nasty, derogatory shit about parts of your body? (to complete strangers, in public restrooms no less)
How often is your body showing up for you, and are you not showing up for your body-care?
A partnership that includes the making empty promises, not showing up for “dates”, blowing off needs and requests, blatantly ignoring clear communication, seeking out pleasures (treats) or indulging beyond boundaries, not supplying basic needs, and unloving, even mean talk (out loud, in public) is cheating.
Being true to yourself is simple and starts with small steps. Here are a couple ideas to get you started:
1. Make 10 min dates. Meditate, move, stretch, pray or exercise in 10 minute patches. Don’t go big, go human–treat your body appointments as you would a real appointment by showing up. And don’t make any dates you won’t keep.
2. Listen. Your body is always communicating with you: tired, hungry, full, wanting-to-move. Just do one or two of those today (like going to bed when you’re tired) and up your listening by exponentially honoring those body requests each day. This will grow on you as you become more energized and feel better and better.
3. Stop talking crap. Consciously correct yourself and ask your friends & coworkers for support or make a pact on pos-talk. When you normally would say something mean about your body (mirror/dressing), say what you are grateful for instead (you can do retroactively too–if you slip up). Or keep a body gratitude journal before bed; 3 things you like or appreciate about your body each day.
4. Create boundaries for indulgence. Do the 80-20 prog, where 20% of your week is indulgent and 80% is stellar eating. Or try my freezer tummy and put all the things you want to overeat into a Ziplock freezer bag and save for your day off.
The best part with all of this is that your body won’t be the angry, forsaken wife! It won’t hold a grudge against all the “cheating” you’ve been doing. As you become true, it will continue to feel progressively better each day and keep on lovin you (like REO Speedwagon song when it gets stuck in your head).